Hi there! As I think I've mentioned before I am really liking my school subjects these semester. I have one course called "Understanding cultures and markets" which is a bit interesting. One of the modules on this course is about Norwegian culture, in particular what makes Norwegians be Norwegian. There are a few studies that talk about how Norwegians establish symbolic fences to be able to separate and detach themselves from their immediate social relationships. These fences appear as a way of protecting their need for privacy, isolation, self-sufficiency and emotional detachment.
I feel like reading these articles about Norwegian 'personality traits' has helped me understand why I have always felt like I belong here, as opposed to where I grew up. When I was little I was pretty good at being by myself. I played alone in my room, listened to music or watched TV in private, and felt like I did not share a lot of common interests with many other individuals. I remember how many times I felt distaste for people who I labelled as "clingy" - people who sporadically would show up at my house to 'hang out' without having given me any notice in advance. Which is by the way, the reason why I never show up at anyone's house without an invite.
Needless to say, that has made me into someone who not only is very comfortable being alone, but also quite dependent on having private alone time.
When I was a teenager my classmates would often invite me to 'hang out' which usually meant that we would meet in town, sit on a bench and make ourselves seen by older boys. This was some sort of social ritual in which we would check how many of the good-looking older boys would say "hi" to us when out in public. An activity which is sort of dumb at my age, but that made some sense as a teenager. It was a way to "measure" how popular we were. Whereas most of my classmates seemed to enjoy doing this, I used to have a strong distaste for spending my Saturdays counting how many boys would say hello or nod in my direction in order to get social approval. My problem was that I was terrible at declining such invitations, which often led me to agree to hangouts that I was not particularly interested in attending. So I always felt like I did not enjoy a lot of the things other teenagers enjoyed, thus feeling very out of place.
Arriving to Norway and noticing that there are other people who value their privacy and alone time the same way I do, made me feel more "normal". I realized it's up to me to decide when I want to be social and when I want to be alone. And that I no longer needed to make excuses to not go somewhere. I could just say, "Sorry I can't" and that was ok. Obviously there are MANY other things that I like about Norway (and Norwegians can be very social too). My point is that in the culture I come from, being isolated is regarded as a tragic or sad thing, whereas here it's normal and accepted. Qualities that Norwegians posses - that most foreigners find unattractive - I find quite desirable. I like when people are shy and quiet, and don't get comfortable too quickly, because I am the exact same way. There are few things that make me so uncomfortable as people who have just met you and tell you about their whole lives, often unfiltered. I appreciate poised, rational people who keep their distance and only let you in after knowing you better. I feel they make better friends.
Anyway, this was today's reflection 💙